Faraway32

I just spent last night with a bunch of good friends from eTel.  It’s enriching to know that we’ve been bound by one team four years ago and still haven’t lost touch, even if most of us have moved on professionally.  It was that team named Twixie Nova (from two kinds of junk food Maris fancied at the time).  We’re all growing up and I’m really glad they’re still a part of my life.

We have different preferences now, different experiences but I’ve somehow remained the innocent. *LOL*  and mind you, I’m far from being the youngest among them.  I laughed at their stories, their misadventures (from which, I can tell, they’ve had the most serious fun) but thinking about it, in the long run, they’ve made some decisions that have turned out for the better.  In essence, they’re still the people with good hearts that I’ve known and loved.  Which made me contemplate on my own pacing, in a tortoise speed it seemed.  Perhaps I’m too cautious most of the time.  Or my parents have raised me too well.  ^_^

Yesterday also marked five years since that Europe trip.  I always get a little bit moody, a little bit more sentimental than usual this time of year.  Some people have asked me what had happened to the guy.  I only shrug and smile.  What I can affirm is that it happened, nothing in my history can change that. Since then, I have had a longing to be a better person, reach that height of the level of individuality that I aspire to be, cherishing only what was significant and knowing what I wanted, being able to get over any mistakes, learn from them and accepting that they are evident and could not be stopped but something that would come to pass.  At the same time, I want to see people from my past, who have become so important to me, who have evolved from when I met them.  I reckon my heart would burst with happiness, if I would be blessed enough to encounter them again.

Subconsciously, I have a deep worry that I may be comparing that experience from my everyday reality.  As the months stretch on, I feel a little braver because I’m becoming content, just a little short of happy.  I know I’ll be okay, however my life turns out, even if the desires of my heart don’t materialize.  I’m equipped to adjust.  And about my pacing?  As Lalay may put it, Kebs! I’m fine as hell.